Raven vs. Courtney — A Bisexual Woman's Journey Through The Hands That Haunt Us

A guest post by Sofia Rossi 

I feel like I have lurked here long enough. I do love reading all of this and it hard not to want to put your own 2 cents in.  I realized I had something to say. Something messy and personal and probably too honest. But isn't that what we're all here for? To confess the things that make us feel alive and a little bit crazy?

I'm a bisexual woman in my early thirties. I've been with men and women, and I've learned that desire doesn't follow a script. It's chaotic, contradictory, and deeply individual. And nowhere is that more evident than in the strange, electric world of  hand kink. Raven vs Courtney, what do they represent? And out of the billions of hands there are, what are these two the most talked about.

Let me take you on a journey. One that's part memoir, part analysis, part confession. Because the more I've read about these two women,  their hands, their presence, their power - the more I've realized they represent something profoundly different. And yet, both speak to fantasies that many of us are too shy to name aloud.

First Encounter

I stumbled onto The Hand Site.  A late-night rabbit hole. You know the kind.  I was on reddit researching hand size comparisons (don't ask), and suddenly there she was: Raven. Elegant. Theatrical. Her hands spread wide like wings, her fingers long and tapered, with a shocking breadth to her palms that made my breath catch.

There's something about the performance of Raven's hands. She doesn't just have them,  she wields them. She's proud. When she opens her hand, spreading those long slender digits into a fan shape, it's not just anatomy. It's a declaration.  It's a challenge. It's seduction wrapped in control.

And then there was Courtney. Maybe petite, it seems her heigh changes more than the stock market. But, when her hands entered the frame, everything shifted. Her palms are large and flat, with a solidity that feels shocking.  Compared to Raven's artistry, Courtney's hands are grounded, tactile, real. They promise grip, not grace. Strength, not performance.

I remember the first time I saw the comparison photo. Raven and Courtney, palms pressed together. Courtney's hands, impossibly, looked nearly as large, if not larger in certain measurements. My stomach flipped. I didn't know why. I just felt… something.

The Male Gaze vs. The Female Gaze: Who Wants What?

Here's where it gets interesting. If you spend any time on forums or comment sections, you'll notice a pattern. Men tend to obsess over the shear size of Courtney palms and what they would like to do with them. Women, especially queer women, almost always gravitate toward Raven.

Why? I think it comes down to what each pair of hands promises.

Courtney: The Fantasy of Being Dominated

Courtney's hands are a paradox. She's small, but her hands are large. That contrast is intoxicating, especially for men who fantasize about being physically overpowered or consumed by a woman.  There's something deeply primal about it,  the idea that this petite woman could wrap her hands around you, control you, own you with nothing but grip and intention.

Her hands are also functional. They don't perform; they act. They stroke. They grip. They claim.  For men, this taps into a specific kind of submission fantasy,  one where the woman is in total control, where having palms the size of a billboard,  becomes overwhelming through sheer tactile power. 

Raven: The Fantasy of Being Seen

Raven's hands, though? They're different.  Raven's hands are elegant, artistic, theatrical .  They don't just touch,  they reveal. When Raven spreads her hand, she's not just showing you her anatomy. She's inviting you into a psychological game. She's daring you to compare. To feel small. To feel captivated. 

For men, Raven's hands are a mindfuck. They represent a woman who is in total control of her sexuality, who knows exactly what she's doing, who enjoys the power she holds. She's the fantasy of the seductress who could ruin you with a single stroke, not because of force, but because of intention.

But for women, especially bisexual or lesbian women ,  Raven's hands are something else entirely. They're a mirror.

When I read Raven's words,  I'm not imagining being touched by her. I'm imagining being her. I want to spread my own hands that wide. I want to command that kind of attention. I want to feel proud of my body in a way that's unapologetic, sexual, and powerful.

Raven's hands are a performance of femininity as power.  And for women who've been taught to shrink, to hide, to apologize for taking up space,  that's revolutionary.

The Female Fantasies: What Do Women Actually Want?

Let's talk about the elephant in the room: female fantasies.

Despite decades of progress, we still don't talk openly about what women actually desire. We're taught to be passive, receptive, "beautiful." We're not supposed to take. We're not supposed to dominate. We're certainly not supposed to fetishize bodies the way men do.

But we do.  And hands,  large, elegant, powerful hands, tap into some of the most common (and least discussed) female fantasies.

Let's be real: women want to dominate too. We just don't talk about it.

Raven's hands are perfect for this fantasy.  They're long, commanding, expressive. When she spreads her hand, you feel it in your gut. You feel small. You feel exposed. You feel seen.

For women who fantasize about being submissive to another woman, Raven's hands are the ideal instrument. They promise control, precision, authority. They could pin you down, trace your body, reduce you to trembling with nothing but intention.

But here's the twist: Raven's hands also appeal to women who want to be the dominant one. Watching Raven perform, watching her command attention, watching her own her body — that's empowering. That's a blueprint.

Sometimes, desire isn't about touch. It's about beauty.  Both Raven and Courtney have objectively beautiful hands, but in totally different ways. Raven's are elegant, almost sculptural. Courtney's are striking, surprising, powerful in their contradiction.

For women who are attracted to other women, aesthetics matter. We notice details. We linger on the curve of a wrist, the length of a finger, the way light catches skin. We fetishize in ways that are visual, tactile, intimate. I could stare at Raven's hands for hours. I could study Courtney's palms like a map. And that looking? That's part of the fantasy.

The Comparison Game: A Dangerous Intimacy

One of the most iconic moments in the Raven/Courtney mythology is the hand comparison.  

Courtney presses her palm against Raven's. They marvel at the size difference, or lack thereof. There's a charge in the air. A vulnerability. A flirtation. 

This moment resonates so deeply because it's not just physical. It's psychological.

When you compare hands with someone, you're inviting intimacy. You're saying, Look at me. Really look. You're risking judgment. You're offering vulnerability. And if that person accepts, if they hold your hand and admire it, that's electric.

For women, this moment taps into something primal. It's not overtly sexual (though it can be). It's about being witnessed. About being appreciated. About finding someone who sees beauty in the parts of you that you've been told don't matter.

I've compared hands with lovers. It's one of the most intimate acts I know.

Whether it's Raven spreading her hand like a declaration of power,  or Courtney pressing her surprisingly large palms against another woman's and smiling,  both of them are saying the same thing:

This is me. This is my body. And I'm not apologizing for it.

And for those of us watching, admiring, fantasizing? That's the most intoxicating thing of all.

Sofia Rossi  writer, researcher, and unapologetic hand enthusiast.